I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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