Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
