Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
