why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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