having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize