Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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