low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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