You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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