Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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