I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
