Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
