Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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