I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
