listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
