On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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