you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
