I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
