He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
