You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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