Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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