Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There's always time for handjobs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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