Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
