you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
