i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
