what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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