is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
