he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
