You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
