Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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