i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
