big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found puke in my bra..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
