The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
