the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
