I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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