sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
