Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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