She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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