There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
