Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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