I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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