Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
