Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
false alarm, still single
Dear god my vagina.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
