Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
