Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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