my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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