I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
