this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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