where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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