Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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