im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
