Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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