Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
