he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
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Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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