I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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