I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
