At least make sure they are 18
Why
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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