The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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