Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think i have two assholes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
