I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
