Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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