I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
