Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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