If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
