I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
