What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
