I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
