ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
